Speechless

As I write this I’m crying, and nope it’s not due to drug induced emotion. I’ve thought long and hard as to how to best express my gratitude for what the wonderful staff I work with at the Alberta Children’s Hospital did along with the Calgary Firefighters. I always knew I had the most amazing people in my life, however I never realized just how many. I always thought people were inherently good, however I never thought for a second how caring, kind, and compassionate people could be even those that I have never met. There are no words to describe how thankful I am for everything. I wish I could list every person who did so much but I am mortified of missing a name because I want everyone who had anything to do with the other weekend to get the credit that they deserve. To leave me speechless is not an easy thing to do, and yet here I am totally speechless. For the people who are closest to me who managed to keep this all a secret I am impressed!! I hope that every single person knows how much I love them, and I wish nothing but great things to each and every one of you for making my life so much betterJ Words will never be enough to express all my gratitude to each and every one of you. Thank you.

I thought this was a pretty cool pic. Thanks J.P for everything you did:)

Herceptin #?? I don't even remember, however I was scared out of my mind that I would get some poor immunocompromised person ill with whatever respiratory illness I had!! Thanks Dr. Webster for being so easily accessible. Without a doubt the best oncologist in the world!!!!!

 

 

Lexer nicely situated herself in front of the pic of the ocean where we both wish we would be. I've never laughed so hard during an infusion such as that day. I'm really sorry if we disturbed anyone, however Lex comes very prepared with games, dice, you name it she is prepared!! Her purse is full of everything, kind of like a treasure chest, hahaha

 

This was one of Lex' games. Now if you can read the bottom it says, "WINNER." That's right I won!!

 

Ice cream on a lovely day. All kids need a day of "hooky" and some ice cream:)

 

 

Hanging with my favorite girlies!!

 

 

My sweet Sophia and my amazing mom (I love you for everything you do for me. She is the most amazing woman, and the best mom in the world)

CT Results

Cancer gives you a perspective on life that changes everything about you to the core. You are no longer the same person, as cancer forces you to think about your own mortality. Your life is lived in three month intervals. Every scan and test forces you to hold your breath not knowing what the results will show. Will I get to take a deep breath and get the chance to live a few more months knowing things are stable, or will the disease get worse forcing you to think about everything you fear. There is no way to sugar coat it, cancer strips you of the future you wish you could have. Uncertainty scares the crapola out of me, thus this past week has been mildly torturous as I awaited the results of my CT.

Well... I can tell everyone that I can breathe again!!!! Finally I got my CT results and things look good. Honestly I feel ready to have a party. Although I don’t drink and like to get to bed at a decent hour, so quite possibly the lamest party ever. However, we could have some green tea?? I know nobody is banging on my front door for that type of party but that’s fine by me. It’s as if this weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I am thrilled!! So the cancer in my bones is stable. Obviously the cancer is still there, however it has not gotten worse and as per the CT report it states that there is “mild interval improvement of the osseous metastasis.” I am so excited about this because it means that the current treatment is working. I am beyond thrilled that there is no cancer in my visceral organs because that means I can continue to live my life with enjoyment and know that in this moment It is very possible to make it to the age of 30 (however I plan to live much longer than that and have informed my oncologist of the same).

On top of all this I also got my wonderful Zoladex injection. I was ready this time with my emla cream on my stomach, however this time thanks to my fabulous nurse Nancy, it didn’t even hurt!! Her technique was fabtaculous and I hope she gives it to me everytime I need to get it. I should have told her to avoid taking vacations when I come.

So on this wonderful, sunny Thursday, I am relishing in this news. I am fully aware that sometimes this can be short lived, however I’m going to assume that this cancer gets bored of me and decides not to act up and simply disappears. All that matters is having good health, everything else is secondary. How many of us wake up, go to work, come home to make dinner, and then go to bed only to repeat this the next day?? We end up simply existing, and sadly it isn’t until something like cancer that we realize how we want to really live. For anyone reading this, figure out what you love, who you love, and what brings you the greatest joy. If you already know, recognize that your life is already pretty damn near perfect! Life is good, and I am so excited to keep on livingJ