When I say the word marijuana what is the first thing that pops into your head?? I'm sure the first picture that pops into your mind is that of a hippie, stoner getting high. Prior to having cancer, and realizing the merits of cannabis, I probably would have thought the same thing. I've said it before, that prior to having a cancer recurrence I had never done ANY drugs, nothing. I wasn't even a drinker. I had tunnel vision as to what the "appropriate" and the "right" way to live my life was.
Fast forward to today and my viewpoints have done a 180 degree turn. After my cancer came back I became invested in researching everything that may have some form of potential benefit. I was in pain. A lot of pain. I tried to brush it off as being nothing and continued to work a couple more months in that state. It wasn't until I picked up an infant and truly wanted to cry from the pain that I realized something was extremely wrong.
Cancer is one sneaky son of a bitch, and I have never liked sneaky sons of bitches before. Therefore, I became enthralled with trying to figure out what could potentially help me?? I can be sneaky too;) Cannabis oil repeatedly stuck out at me. Looking back, I wish that the first time I was diagnosed I would have tried it. Initially, and I'm ashamed to admit it, but I was scared of how others would view me if I started using marijuana? Here I was, in a respected profession in healthcare, and I was worried about what this could do to my "reputation?" Just saying that creates a lump in my throat. Why the hell would I give two shits what others think!!!! This was MY life, and in the end the only person who would need to live with the ramifications of what could happen was ME. We spend so much of our time constantly worried about being accepted, doing the "right" thing, and wanting others to respect us for being good people. Well, I've come to realize that just because I use marijuana doesn't make me any less of any of those things. I am a good person. I know that. Am I perfect? Nope. Never have been, and I don't expect to become perfect anytime soon. However, who the heck is??
Cannabis oil was the single medicine I could take that gave me pain relief, whilst still being functional. When I used to go to bed, my mind would wander, then I would get a hot flash, then I would be pissed off that I'm sweating and hot, and then I would be freezing. It sucked. Ok, it fuckin sucked!! Not being able to sleep does not work well into my life. I LOVE sleep, and I value a good nights sleep with all my being. Therefore, not wanting to take sleeping pills, I resorted to cannabis oil. I ended up having the best nights sleep ever!! I never once woke up, and yes I have continued to use it regularly every night, and I sleep remarkably well.
What continues to irk me is this stigma around marijuana, and it being a controlled substance that is viewed as dangerous. Firstly, this medicine does have merits. I'm living proof that it does. What bothers me is that due to this classification they can't do research into what the true potentials of it are in medicine. For myself, I had to experiment. There are many different strains and types. Some have higher levels of THC, the psychoactive ingredient, and some have higher levels of CBD, which has zero psychoactive effects, but does show lots of potential in the field of medicine, specifically with seizure disorders. By not having research to back this up, I must admit that dosing has caused me to take a smidge bit too much at times. Once you take too much, the side effects are not pleasant at all. However, if they changed the label and stigma around marijuana they could do research and figure out adequate dosing, and what strains are good for what types of disorders.
This is not about religion. This is not about being a good person, and it is certainly not about pleasing others. I've tried to please everyone my whole life, and have come to realize that that's not possible. This is about me and finally doing something that allows me to live a little easier. I don't believe that anyone should need to suffer in any capacity if there's something out there that has shown to alleviate this. Do it. In the end, nobody will understand your suffering, only you.
I am not a fan of narcotics. I hate the side effects, and realistically the number of prescription narcotic overdoses that occur yearly are pretty scary. According to the CDC these are LEGAL medications, and they kill 15,000 people in the United States yearly!! However, people assume because a physician prescribed it that it is a peachy, rosy, treatment for pain. Fun fact: nobody has ever died from a marijuana overdose (people have reported raiding their fridge for snacks though. Ok, I made this bit up but I'm sure its happened).Well... while you are dazed, drowsy, and constipated from your prescription narcotics; I will be eating, laughing, pain free, and having the best nights sleep EVER!
I think it's time for change. Huge change pertaining to cannabis and its uses and potential benefits. When I hear politicians, uneducated on the health benefits of marijuana, blatantly not wanting legalization as they talk about it being a controlled substance, and the dangers, I want to smack them across their dumb nut faces!! I can only imagine how quickly their own viewpoints would change if they, or their loved one, got cancer and they had to view the devastation caused by it!! I think it's time for them to recognize the ignorance that their narrow minded heads has created. To allow some of the prescription narcotics that are on the market to be legal completely baffles me. These are drugs that are highly addictive, and have proven to kill, but it's ok???
I could go on and on about this, but I truly hope others in my shoes can find relief with cannabis. This is not about creating an uproar, or about stepping out of the box and skewing away from what's "right." This is about pain relief. About quality of life. About not suffering. I'm a firm believer that this is a right that every individual should be granted. Young and old. Rich or poor. This is about our basic right to have a good life, and I strongly feel that this is not a topic that should have any jurisdiction in politics. They are not healthcare workers, and have no clue what it means to witness suffering. Therefore, do what makes you happy, what reduces your suffering, and what you know in your heart makes your life a little easier. This is MY life, cancer is MY problem, and I'll choose to handle it the way I deem seems fit. I refuse to suffer, and don't give two shits what others may think!!