Friday, 1 August 2014

More Tests = More STRESS!!!

This past week has once again been a busy filled, anxiety provoking week. Although I feel good, and have no reason to assume this cancer is any worse there is nillo certainty to this. I watch the reaction of the people who scan me. Are they being nice because I light up like a Christmas tree on the scans, or simply because they're nice? These are the stupid things I pay attention to. My week started with a bone scan. I couldn't imagine it taking longer than the first time I had this done where i ended up being there for over 6hrs because the machine kept breaking. Yup, not even kidding. I thought I was simply having the worst hot flash ever, but in reality it was the machine overheating.

The last time I saw Dr. Webster in June I had some pretty unexpected news that I chose not to tell anyone other than my family and my bestie as I didn't feel the need to say anything to anyone else because there was uncertainty regarding what they saw on the scan. Firstly, the last time I saw Webster I really wasn't expecting anything, at all. However, he told me there was a "spot" that they had seen, but after consulting with other specialists they couldn't identify whether it was cancer. Ummm... Ok. The radiologist actually wrote that it was concerning of an early metastatic deposit. Shit, that was my initial reaction. Chris and I left that appointment a bit confused and worried. I was feeling really good, therefore this news caught us extremely off guard. I am not good at lying, therefore I told the people I was the closest to that I couldn't keep a secret from, even though I utterly hate placing a burden on anyone else, but it was some pretty significant crapola to hide! I was told that they wanted to repeat the scan 6weeks later. Perfect. How on earth I would maintain my sanity for that long was beyond me, therefore our vacation to California couldn't have come at a better time because I needed to escape in any possible capacity I could.

Fast forward to this past week and I just want some answers. In my ideal world, whatever the heck that "spot" was, it would be gone or I would be told it's completely benign. I don't have any symptoms from it, therefore I feel that's a positive sign at least. Therefore, after a bone scan, CT scan, and an MRI, I now patiently wait... Yup, patiently. Well, not really. My follow-up is in a week to go over these scans so I'm trying to consume my time with anything and everything that makes this week go by quickly!! My princess noodle and my love bug are my go to gals!! They definitely take my mind off the uncertainty and STRESS that comes with these tests because I become too busy with them to allow my mind to wonder. Thank goodness to my little people:) To put into perspective why my sweet little ladies put my mind at ease I must share what my love bug said to me the other day. I was heading to a baby shower and she asked me where I was going. I responded by telling her that I was going to a baby shower. She looked a bit puzzled and asked, "is that where you guys give the babies a bath." I couldn't help but laugh as I loved her innocence in regards to having no clue what a baby shower was, too cute:)

Once I meet with Dr. Webster and find out my results I will let everyone know. Fingers crossed the last "spot" will be gone, and I'll be able to have a good laugh about the unnecessary stress I have put myself under. One week to go!! The countdown begins, just six more sleeps to go!!!!

CT day!
Staying hydrated as I am not a fan of the crapola contrast that's not good for the kidneys. Would like to keep the kidneys in stellar shape!
MRI day, that's a thumbs up, NOT the middle finger:)
Hercpetin day July31st. I am a lucky gal as Lexer brought tupperware containers with popsicles and ice! All of which fit into her purse!!! Oh, she also had an ice pack which came in handy when I had a hot flash:) Seriously who actually has a friend as wonderful as lex??? You are one of a kind buddy;)
OK, the next few pics are from Herceptin day. We were dressed to go out for dinner afterwards, however my popsicle started to drip everywhere. Lexer should be a photographer as she captures EVERYTHING! 


  1. Okay, now I am officially caught up on your blogspot entries!!! You always have such a way to make a shitty situation turn into a postive hilarious moment! I still can't stop laughing at "your kind of people, are the elderly"

    1. Yes the elderly definitely are, but my nursing friends are still my number one people:)

  2. Judit, your sense of humour and ability to 'say it like it is' is amazing. Will keep my fingers crossed for Thursday!!!