Sunshine. Ocean. Beach. I Am Ready To See You!!!

I am ready for a vacation. I want to go on vacation. Ok I NEED a vacation. I'm over the snow, and I have had enough of the cold. I dress nice and warm, turn my seat warmer on, and within five minutes of driving I get a hot flash. I'm never quick enough to rip my scarf off, and turn my seat warmer off. Suddenly my window is down and I'm driving like a total crazy person with my windows down in -20degrees weather. I'm also cursing because I HATE hot flashes and how it leaves me drenched! Yes, I am ready to hop on a plane and head to a sunny destination where I don't need to wear quite as much clothes. However, there's two things I need to contemplate before I spontaneously get the heck out of here: appointments and bathing suits.

Firstly, I coordinate a shitload of my life around appointments. Therefore, this time, I simply said my appointments can be coordinated around my life. First time around, obviously everything was done around these appointments, but this time I don't have an end date. Which is fine because an end date with metastatic cancer means; The End! As in my life is over. Ugh. Alright, let's get back on the happy track-vacation. I essentially told myself I am going to plan this vacation, and any treatments or scans that happen to fall in this time frame can be rescheduled.

Problem number one: Having metastatic cancer does not award you the luxury of planning anything long term. This is tough with vacation planning especially when you are trying to plan a vacation to Hawaii. There is very little availability with exorbitant costs! I knew I always wanted to go to Hawaii, therefore I had to book a vacation a little bit farther in advance then I would have liked. However, it got booked and hubby and I are going to Hawaii in March!! Best part, when I looked at what treatments had to be rescheduled nothing fell into this two week span, double yaaay!!

Problem number two: having one tit and bikini shopping became another mission. Firstly, after my first bout with breast cancer I knew I would need a prosthetic for swimming. However, my way of purchasing a prosthetic was... well... not exactly the way most would do it. Typically people would go and have measurements done, and then have this light weight prosthetic made. I, on the other hand, went online. I felt it would be easy to replicate my remaining tit. Let's be honest here, my remaining tit is small so this shouldn't be too hard to replicate! Heck, I could shove a mandarin orange into the other side and I would probably look balanced! However, knowing me, I would probably eat the orange and end up back at square one again. Anyhow, I found a place online, the prosthetic looked like it would work, and pressed "purchase." After I placed my order I looked at the other things this online shop had to offer. Some of it seemed kind of odd. As well, it stated at checkout that their boxes are "discrete" that they deliver in. Ok, I thought. Weird a little, but maybe some people just aren't comfortable with the UPS guy knowing they have one boob. I didn't totally know, but didn't think too hard into it. Then the day I got my product I quickly realized with the booklet they sent me that I had purchased this off of an online transvestite store!! This was not a shop for women with breast cancer. Hmm... I initially laughed hysterically because I never thought I would be purchasing things off of a site like this, but I also never thought I would get cancer. Not going to lie, I browsed through their inventory and even learnt a little bit!

I have this transsexual prosthetic that I have used on many vacations. It works. However, it is a bit heavy and I always alter the stitching on my bathing suit so that this heavy tit thing can be nicely fitted in. One thing I've noticed since having a mastectomy is when I've looked at bathing suits purposely made for people with mastectomies they all look pretty lame. I mean even the local store had bathing suits that were massive in size, and reminded me of something that an 80year old would wear to aquasize!! They were all one piece and the cut was high. I thought of a flippin turtle neck!! I feel as though I could have gotten a hair net with it! Oh so sexy. Can you picture me walking down the beach in a one piece, high neck bathing suit, with a hair net on?? I can, but only in my flippin nightmares!!  Firstly, I'm 29 years old. I enjoy wearing a bikini, and have always bought really cute bathing suits from Victoria's Secret. Firstly, just by Victoria's Secret's name you would think they would make bathing suits for people who have had mastectomies. I mean that could be the "secret." I have one boob, the person next to me has no boobs, but you would never know due to the amazing fit. I still think there's a lot of money in this, and definitely a demand for it. Obviously, there's bathing suits I can no longer wear but I can still wear a bikini, strapless, with a certain cut. This is once again an area that I find to be a downfall. Young people do get breast cancer and we still have a desire to look good in a bathing suit. It seems that everything is catered to the elderly. I am determined, and managed to find myself a bikini that I know I can modify and make work.

Now I am excited and looking forward to escaping this bitter cold, slippery streets, and more importantly my medical routine. I am so excited to lay on a beach, hear the ocean waves, and simply not worry about a thing. Although, sharks are a major fear of mine and I know I have a poor track record for rare things happening, so I googled what to do if a shark attacks. I am prepared. I will punch his nose;). Yup, I got this! It's so refreshing and exciting to look forward to something other than my next scan. I am counting down the days until March!! Sunshine here I come!!

 The only thing I like about this pic is the drink in her hand!! I can also relate to the poor vision bit as well;) Ok, we may have a lot more in common then I initially thought!! Damn it!