Today marks three years since I first heard the words: "you have cancer." Everything in my life changed in an instant. My life became divided into two parts. Before cancer and after cancer. Even after I was given the all clear, and a new bill of health my life never went back to what it was before. This doesn't mean my life wasn't good, but rather I realized how quickly and how easily things can change.
I can still vividly remember sitting in my car after taking a day course pertaining to nursing. I had had a biopsy, and didn't think anything would be wrong especially after all the reassurance I received from my family doctor that this lump had a 99% chance of being benign. As I sat in my car, my phone rang and my doctor told me I had cancer. I honestly have no clue how I managed to drive home as I was a big blubberfest all the way home. The most difficult part to finding out you have cancer is by far telling the people you love. Absolutely everything in your world stops. You become numb to everything, and wonder what the hell was my purpose in this world?
The second time I heard I had cancer this past February basically deflated any hopes I had at beating this disease. This time I was knowledgable about what it meant, even though I wish I didn't know what it really meant. I honestly wondered, if all the plans I had for my future are no longer possible then what the heck am I gonna do?? I don't think I'm a bad person, however I am in no ways perfect either. After all this I have figured out what I am beyond passionate about, and it's metastatic breast cancer awareness and advocacy. More needs to be done to bring awareness to metastatic breast cancer and to push for more funding for research. I am not going to simply have this disease without shedding light on it, and I plan on changing the course of the future as it pertains to this disease, especially in young women. I may be one person, but I won't stop until I accomplish what I want.
Three years ago today my world shattered, but today was a new day. A better day. A day where I've finally realized what I want to do, and figured out what MY purpose is.
“It doesn't matter what you did or where you were...it matters where you are and what you're doing. Get out there! Sing the song in your heart and NEVER let anyone shut you up!!”
― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free